You are probably wondering what the worst nightmare is for an INFP.
Well, I can’t tell you that because everyone has different life experiences. So what I think of as nice will be someone’s pet peeve.
But what I can tell you is what my worst nightmare is and what I am doing to prevent it from happening.
Here’s the video version!
My worst nightmare is having my mask be exposed to everyone and for them to not like what they see.
Friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers.
It scares me to death that someday people might actually know about the real me. How I actually act or at least want to act.
It’s so crippling that I struggled to tell my best friend of 10+ years some weird facts about me, even though she had a feeling anyway.
The specific nightmare that prompted me to write this post went like this:
I was in a room that I honestly couldn’t really describe. One minute, I’m sitting on the floor. The next, I’m surrounded by literally everyone I know. They are staring at me in utter disgust as if I was human garbage.
Some of them mouth their frustration, while others turn away. All the while I’m screaming at them, “It’s not true! This isn’t how I am!”
Then I woke up.
I wrote what happened on my Note 5 and just stared at the ceiling for a bit, making sure it wasn’t real.
It shook me up pretty badly to the point I was hesitant to talk to anyone. But as the day went by, I realized that I was “safe”.
I thought about it for a few days and knew I couldn’t let this be a constant grip on my life.
So I made a few goals in the spirit of the new year. (Planning on making a Goal Collection in my Bujo shortly after writing this post)
Related: Check out my previous post about goals
Be more honest with myself. I can do this by:
- Writing a reflection about my day or how I feel in my bullet journal as a way to get the negative thoughts out of my head
- Going into my counseling sessions determined to find a way to reframe my thoughts when it gets bad
Build up more self-esteem:
- Losing weight so I physically feel better
- Meditating so I reflect on things or maintain a calmer mind
- Slowly open up to those around me (Basically, exposure therapy. The more I experience what it’s like to be in a certain state, the less foreign or jarring it’ll feel.)
These are the three broad goals I have for 2019. To make sure I have a solid foundation to achieve these goals, I have to make specific and attainable tasks that lead to these goals.
But that’s for another post. Hope this was interesting in some way.
What are you doing to prevent your fears from becoming reality?
Let me know in the comments below. See ya in the next post. 🙂