7 Reasons Why Being an INFP Is Hard (In College)

This is a post that is based on my experiences as an INFP. While the MBTI personalities are a great way to look at yourself, they are not a mold to your personality. So this is a post from my feelings and experiences so far.

1. The Overthinking Plague

I have a big problem of overthinking a lot of things. My campus is smaller than most schools but not the smallest there is.

With how prevalent societal pressure can be, my mind can get the gears going in regards to my appearance to others

I am quite overweight, obese when you consider the BMI scale. I have been like this for 90% of my childhood. So I got used to comparing myself and having others compare me.

In class, I’m usually the only minority and it’s really apparent.

So naturally, I always think I’m being compared either by touring students or current students.

And then my brain gears start to turn.

And this is a seemingly instinctive response whenever I’m around people I feel have better lives than me.

“Why can’t I just stick with this diet? That person is slim, so it’s possible.”

“I wish I could wear clothes like that and not have anyone think anything of it.”

“I’m sitting alone eating a huge burger. I wonder what they think of me. Probably nothing good.”

Negative thinking is a big flaw of mine.

Reframing my thinking is actually one of my goals for this semester with my counselor at my college’s Wellness Center. 

I wish it was easy to be able to just stop going outside, but I still have responsibilities to fulfill.

So I try to say something positive in return to try and negate that thought. 

2. An Extra Helping of Negativity

I didn’t exactly deal with the transition from high school to college. I was basically considered an above average student. Graduated top 20%, not that it really mattered.

My priorities as a college student were horribly skewed with what little I knew about it. It was a cycle of socializing, sleeping, then studying.

In 2 years, I managed to flunk out and had to reveal the truth to my mom. It was one of the hardest moments I’ve had in my life. It took me a whole year to work up the courage to go to my local community college. And even longer to tell the truth to Berry.

I couldn’t handle the pressure of lying to my best friend, someone who I knew would always have my back. But I only made the situation worse by telling myself that I wasn’t worth the effort to care about.

All of these extraneous thoughts slowed my progress to a crawl. After sucking it up and actually talking to those who cared about me, I was able to move forward and get readmitted at my old school.

Remember that you aren’t alone. There is always going to be at least one person who cares, even if it feels like no one should.

3. The Feeling of Being “Alone”

Even though my roommate, suitemates, and some of my classmates are awesome people, I don’t feel close to them. I’m pretty careful with making friends.

This may be a dumb outlook on relationships, but I have always thought of everyone as a friend unless they gave me a good reason not to.

To get anywhere beyond that needs time. Berry and I have known each other for almost 10+ years and it still took me around 3 to 4 years to say that she was my BFF.

Every time I revealed a part of myself, I was so scared that she would hate or be disgusted of me. But no. She was awesome enough to accept me as I am.

On a college campus, it’s like a arena of relationships. After the first two weeks, getting to know people especially as an INFP gets exponentially harder. 

I honestly do not know how people can just go to a club meeting and converse with people as if they’ve known them for months. Doesn’t help I cannot stand small talk. 😅

Women looking for familiar settings or faces.
Me at any social event at school without any friends there.

4. My Growing Bubble of Emotions

Recently, everything happened at once.

  • I bombed a quiz in Orgo
  • Almost fell asleep in my Genetics class
  • Did my Orgo Lab assignment completely wrong
  • Got an insufferable lab partner
  • Ran over lab time and missed a meeting for my job
  • Got my new laptop with a broken button

All in 12 hours. I couldn’t cry it out because my suitemates were home, so I had to hold it all in.

Some of those events were literally trivial. I fixed the button by pushing it down, easily rescheduled the meeting through email, and I only have to deal with my lab partner for 3 more weeks and that’s it.

Luckily, my roommate was kind enough to give me a pep talk. And I had an appointment with my counselor in a confidential setting. It was such a relief to let out all of my frustrations.

So I advise any introvert that has a habit of suppressing your feelings to find a safe support network you can vent to. 

5. Dialing Back on the Nerding Out

I am an anime, video game, visual novel, and Asian culture nerd. And seeing as I have trust issues with people I don’t know well, I pretty much hide that fact. 

While playing SimCity 4, I hide the screen when someone appears.

I “watch” YouTube videos while on a dummy tab.

I do not play VNs at school at all.

I absolutely do not show my full on anime nerd side for fear of being ostracized. 

I generally know that they will not think less of me for these hobbies. But knowing me, I can’t risk the possibility of it happening.

It’s pretty pathetic at times, but that world is my safe zone.

Get to know the people around you and slowly introduce them to the “hidden” sides of your personality.

Showing your true self at a convention is great. Bell and Berries
I have always wanted to dress in this style and/or go to my first convention.

6. The Traditional Way to Learn Doesn’t Always Click

Learn, quiz, test, and repeat. It works, but it gets tiring after awhile.

I crave creativity, even though I’m pretty bad at certain types. I mean I took a Sculpture class during my first year in college and flunked. That was a little too much creativity for me. 

Still pretty awkward to see that professor after I came back.😬

Anyway.

It’s a necessary evil for us INFPs. I’m hoping to have a future in medicine, so the beginning of my career has been reduced to the aforementioned cycle for a while.

It sucks. But thinking about the future patients I can help, motivates me. Plus I can support my mom with that job too!

7. My Time Management Sucks…

I have a planner, color-coded Google Calendar, a wall full of syllabi, and my Samsung Galaxy Note 5 to make quick lists.

I use all of this and still suck at managing my time. Simple daydreaming can throw my schedule out of whack!

I even found a book that tells me how to get A’s in my classes. It has helped me manage to remember things. (I am super forgetful.)

But, I still am horrible at it. It’s definitely a skill to be learned.

You should learn it ASAP…for your sake.

So my fellow INFPs, college is one big challenge.

But, it is one I know I need to go through to achieve my goals.

Know that I’ll be rooting for all of you and that I’m here to listen. 

Contact us, comment on this post, or reach us on any of our social channels.

And continue to be your weird awesome selves. 😊

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